Monday, February 14, 2005


ANSWER ME THIS - why is it that people actually waste their time attempting to commit to one another only to have it tested annually? WTF -i'm not going to point out the obvious cliche that valentine's day is created by hallmark and that it's stupid because we already know that. BUT if we already know that why does one continue to go through with such a tiresome ordeal?
sex=sex. if one really gave a shit about another person the last thing they would do is date him/her or marry him/her. why does one feel that it is necessary to have the ridiculous verbal agreement that we're "together" -he's my "boyfriend" ;she's my "girlfriend"?? -all such an agreement does is start the test of stress levels where a girl constantly asks herself "does he still like me?; does he love me?; does he STILL love me?; where is this going?; does he like her more than me? - and have the unsatisfied male asking himself "when are we gonna fuck?; who's that guy talking to her?; do i have to go to that chick movie?" - minds conform to one another and flirtation quickly evolves into arguments and silence. WHY WOULD ONE WANT SUCH A THING?
all of which would be avoided if a knowingly transient agreement was not made. what happened to simple FRIENDSHIP? that's right-friendship -an entity that does not require a damn thing except acceptance and presence. where one does not find themselves becoming what he/she despises. you do not need a relationship and all the stress that accompanies it, to have sex. there are MANY other ways to satisfy that.
---so on this Valentine's Day -DUMP YOUR LOVE AND GET A LOVER.


Blogger elbows said...

I do not understand your point at all. A friendship is a relationship. When the stakes are raised for either party in a relationship, complications can set in. Love raises the stakes. Sex raises the stakes.

Humans are social animals. We form mutually beneficial relationships in order to survive, stay sane & maybe even enjoy life. And as there is no relationship so important as the kinds that create life, ie a sexual relationship, so this phenomenon is neither new nor stupid, nor related to modern living or labels, it is essential.

In practical terms show me a couple happy in an "open relationship" and I will show you couples who tried that but ultimately rejected it because you cant out-think emotions such as jelousy. If you care about someone, the baggage will follow, these are not optional extras.

9:09 AM  
Blogger french/new/wave/nerd said...

it can be hard to understand if one still allows themselves to believe in the malevolent concept of "love." the baggage erupts when one invests so much. so I say LET ME NEVER BE COMPLETE and allow yourself independence away from gratuitous illusions. "love" is only a psychological ILLUSION influenced by hormones. there are no couples in happy relationships. there are only masks and transient blips of "happiness." call me a cynic but I cannot understand why one would accept the baggage for an illusion.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Insurgent said...

Brian, the whole subject you decided to address in this entry is more complicated then simply that. And *much* of it is biologically motivated. But even if we ignore all the biological stuff -- there still is a major difference between sex and something else.

We can call it sex vs. making love -- or we can call it fucking vs. sex -- but either way -- there is definitely a difference between having intercourse with someone you are deeply passionate about and someone who you might care about but not such an intense connection.

It's possible to have deeply passionate connections with people you're having sex with, but not involved in some sort of exclusive relationship. Just as it's possible to have meaningless sex with your husband or wife.

At the same time, it should be possible to have polyamorous relationships that have the level of passion that transcends just fucking. But, from my observations of my friends -- this only works for so long before biology starts taking over and jealousy her evil sisters start poking their heads out.

Wow -- this has been a pretty long comment on your vlog...

10:53 AM  
Blogger Zadi said...

Hey, just read this post and I felt compelled to respond. Love may very well be a psychological illusion, but we are psychological creatures. It's good to be cerebral, but we have senses so that we can *feel* the world we live in - good and bad. We accept the baggage because the baggage is what we need to overcome and understand in order to become more complete human beings. Life is bittersweet, and to open ourselves up to hurt and other's emotions is the most complete feeling of all. I've been in a relationship with the same person for about 11 years, and there have been blips on every level of our radar - but the constant is that we let eachother be who we are. This love can end tomorrow, or in a year, or in ten - but this love has never been malevolent in it's truest form - it's just been life and growth.

1:20 PM  

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